"Grace sometimes looks at me and says "Can you believe that this is our life?"
When a new chapter in your life begins, it's fun. It has a sense of adventure and excitement. People are happy for me and encouraging me in the work.
And this is very needed to get started in anything, whether that be a new school, new job, or new location.
But shortly after that reality starts to set in, this is where the real living begins. This is when you see what it is really like without rose-color glasses.
This is when things start getting real.
The past few weeks things have gotten real.
Today in our staff meeting one of my employees turned to me and said "If we can't all get along than its probably better if I leave"
It's as easy as that right?
Leaving is easy, a quick solution. Over and done with.
But leaving is rarely the answer.
Leaving causes hurt and doesn't leave space for closure. Leaving is easy, but leaving leaves scares.
I began to explain to all my employees, leaving is not the answer.
We are human, we are created with sin, God did not want us to work together so we can point out each others sin and than find a quick solution by leaving.
God wants us to work together despite our flesh, despite our harsh words. Humbly realizing we all are sinners in desperate need of grace.
I wanted to say to him "Do you want to know how many times I have wanted to leave, but I am still here?"
It's true it sounds like a good answer but please show me in the bible where this is taught because thats not the bible I read.
Maybe instead of automatically thinking we should leave, we should find solutions to the problems. Or humble ourselves enough to see maybe we are the problem?
Today I cried for the first time in a staff meeting. When I saw my employees turning to each other one at a time, asking each other to forgive them, embracing each other, and than all of us praying for each other. Sticking it out and not leaving is worth it.
Last week I wanted to leave, I almost threw in the towel. Twice.
Being robbed of all my missionaries salary of a whole month, spending countless hours at the police station and than in court. I kept thinking, "I'm a 22 year old white girl, what am I doing in court?"
Some nights I would just lay in bed and think "God I can't do it anymore"
But God is faithful to people who are faithful to Him.
Faithfully loving, faithfully serving, and faithfully doing The Will.
We are called to love and show grace right where we are. We don't have to go do missions or have mountain high experiences to faithful to the work of our Savior.
If you think about His life, it wasn't very glamourous. He came down to Earth from a majestical place, lived the life of a peasant and died the death of a criminal.
Love people as He has loved you just where you are.
Be Faithful to Him because He is always Faithful to you.
We finally came to a decision in court, and I got to set a guilty man free. His parents pleaded with me that jail would be worse for him and asked me if I would send him to rehab. Pray for this young man as he now saw me show grace where grace was not deserved. Pray for his family as they pay back the debt equal to a yearly salary for a dominican. Pray for this situation as this man is in my life and one of my employees is mentoring him. Pray for his soul, because ultimately thats what really matters.
When Grace says that, she says it sarcastically because sometimes the pain, the hurt, and the frustrations just don't seem real here. I turn to her and say "no I can't believe it"
But even though I usually drag myself to bed at night because I physically can't do one more thing that day, He always always always gives me strength for the next day.
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."
Matthew 6:34
